I’ve Got To Be Honest…

Work by Stephanie Hirsch
Work by Stephanie Hirsch

…I would be lying to the world if I said that “I’m fine” right now. On this here blog, I cover a wide range of topics, but if you are a long-time reader, you would have noticed a slowdown in posts from November to early January. This is not because of laziness or complete lack of interest, it is because life happened in many ways during this time, and I am brave enough now to share.

The theme of loss has been rampant in my life during this time. In November I lost my paternal grandfather’s wife, a kind woman who accepted me as one of her own grandchildren, and my father lost one of his first cousins from a freak accident. The month went on, and on one of the happiest days of my life, the night of the Yeezus concert at Barclay’s Center, I received news the next day that my uncle had passed while I was at the concert of cirrhosis of the liver. He was 45 years old.

December came along, and I lost my job. I didn’t have anything set up on the side, so I can say that I’m still trying to make it. My heart was heavy pretty much the entire holiday season, and Christmas was particularly hard as within days of the holiday, I had lost a great friend from high school along with her two sisters due to injuries sustained from their house catching fire.

I’ve battled depression (which I am still going through) and have beaten myself up about all the occurrences of loss. “Why me?” , I asked daily, looking for answers to my problems in all the wrong places. It is so easy to become consumed by sadness, and I have let myself be at times, but I know I am stronger than that. I truly don’t know where I would be right now without the support of my family and close friends. They are empathetic, but are not enablers; they won’t allow me to wallow in my sorrows because they know I am better than that, and capable of greatness.

I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me, but if I can be a testament to anything, I want it to be that of rising above life challenges, no matter how heart-breaking they may be. I see great things ahead for the year of 2014. Walk with me…

 

*Photo by Andrea K. Castillo

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